~~   Remembering My Mother  ~~

 

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Having lost my mother just when I attained motherhood, left a cold vacuum in my soul that no other relationship could compensate.

 

It seemed just like yesterday, when during my prank filled childhood; I would sneak behind the curtain on hearing my mother's soft tinkering paayal and try to escape her constant attempts to bathe me!! Today, as a mother myself, I understand her duties as a mother and how she struggled to groom me as am today.

 

I remember rather distinctively how much I troubled her with my teen tantrums. Surfing channels on the idiot box, playing with food disinterestedly, yapping with friends non-stop on the phone and allowing dust to gather on my books were carried out by me while turning a deaf ear to my mother's advice. How much I took her for granted!!!!

 

Just like my four year old imitates her mother, there are moments when I try to do the same. Adorning her favorite tissue saree, slipping on her glass bangles, wearing her choice of nail-varnish and trying to wrap it all up in her distinctive grace, I try to follow her footsteps but I do fail miserably because she was a class apart. Each person she met, each place she visited or each hand she held speaks volumes of her charm that she left behind like an unforgettable fragrance.

 

If I could somehow, pester the Almighty to send my mother down for just a few moments--I would like to hold her once and let tears stream down my cheeks and am confident through unspoken words, she would read my eyes and understand that I would like to turn back time and make many changes like being a more caring daughter. But life is no fairy tale and am certainly not Cinderella.

 

On each Mother's day I miss her terribly. All the years she was with us, this day came and went and I never bothered. But now, phone calls and wishes reach my mother's sisters whom I turn to during child rearing tips, hubby moods or simply just a warm hug .Something that would bring me closest to her.

 

Mothers are someone no one can replace--I believe in these words now. So, running errands for her, presenting her a cell phone to keep in touch with you, calling her to say you care or simply hugging her each time you meet or part from her is sufficient for her.

 

All I can say is life is too short and mothers don't stay forever, but memories do.